The dreadful grip of negative emotions

Negative emotions incapacitate human brain to think clearly and detach them from reality. They make people act in a destructive way, which so mostly destructive for their selves.

According to Brain Tracy there are five major factors that create of negative emotions in a person and make them hold on to them. When we know the causes of the negative emotions, we can remove them or can even stop them in the first place.

  1. Justification: We tend to justify our negativity and our right to be angry, by either discussing those negative situations/ thoughts with others again and again or by talking to ourselves while doing our day to day work like cooking, cleaning, driving etc and we try to justify that we are entitled to feel that way as other did really bad with us. Some of us make our case and argue vehemently with people, who are not even there. This action makes us more angry and upset. Despite of the amount of hurting it cause, we tend to hold on to the experience that hurt us.
    • How to free yourself:
      • Remember that we can choose to hold on or let go of the bad experience, attach or not attach your emotions with experience.
      • It’s in our control, when we find ourselves justifying, we should just stop ( sometimes thinking of stop sign works) and don’t let that experience in the past ruin our present and control us long after it happened.
      • Remember: Keep the control with you, if you give up the control to your thoughts, they will control you.
  2. Identification: We take things personally and consider everything as a personal attack and we become negative.
    • How to free yourself:
      • Have healthy emotional boundary
      • Be compassionate without identifying with someone else’s emotions
  3. Hypersensitivity: Mainly due to destructive criticism and insufficient love people develop the feeling of inadequacy and become too sensitive about thoughts, opinions or attitudes of others towards them, which caused negative emotions.
    • How to free yourself:
      • Set a bedtime and morning routine
      • Identify your triggers
      • Plan ahead to avoid your triggers or manage them. Workaround your triggers.
      • Investigate current stressors and solutions
      • Remember your gift and be thankful for them
      • Take mini retreats to be away from stress and have some downtime
      • Engage in gentle exercise
      • Speak up and make others aware of your triggers but remember to be polite. “Don’t become an insensitive sensitive person demanding everyone…shut up.”
  4. Judgmentalism: Another reason for the negative emotions is the tendency of making negative assessments about others and finding them guilty of something. Then the guilt becomes the justification for anger and resentment and negative feeling towards others.
    • How to free yourself:
      • Do not judge anyone for anything.
      • Keeping reminding yourself that all people are entitled to their own way of thinking and living.
      • In order to stop yourself from judging, empathize with people. Try to under their situation, instead of thinking about their negativity.
      • Try Sedona Method, developed by Hale Dwoskin:
        • Identify the people in your past with whom you are still angry or situations in the past you are still upset about.
        • Answer these questions:
          • Do you want to be free of negativity associated with this situation? If answer is yes
          • Are you will it let it go completely?
        • Many people are not willing to let go of negative experience that happened in the past. They feel they have earned or or paid for it with time , money or personal suffering. If that’s the case, figure out how you can let it go… prayers, meditation, gratitude, forgiveness or therapy
      • Remember when you hold on to the negative experience, it will make only you unhappy and you have power to let go and reclaim your happiness. Understand that no one is making you feel mad or controlling you in present. It’s you who is the cause of your own unhappiness, by holding on to the past so tightly. Let it go and be free and not ruin your present.
      • Practice compassion and empathy. It is learned skill. Use your wonderful mind to find reasons for not judging and for letting go of any past hurt. Instead of finding reasons why another person is guilty and should be condemned, seek reasons to find the other person not guilty and let then free.
  5. Rationalization: Negative thinking is also rise from giving a socially acceptable explanation to socially unacceptable act also called “rational-lies” or rationalization. Just like worst criminals have a way to justify themselves and they feel innocent, in the same way people with low self esteem and weak egos, can’t accept that they have done or said something that was not reasonable and find a way to justify their act, by rationalizing it.
    • How to free yourself:
      • Stop rehashing of the negative situation, as it keeps the negative emotion alive and growing.
      • When you feel that you have started rationalizing your negative emotion, say “I am responsible”, as there is no way that you had no control in that situation. Blaming is easy and taking responsibility is hard but doable with practice and mind training. It is an effective way to short circuit the negative emotion.
      • Instead of using your incredible intelligence to think of reason why you should be resentful, angry, fearful, doubtful, use your creativity to find reason to next extras your negative feelings, justification and rationalizations.

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