Here are my takeaway points from HBR’s 10 must reads: On Mental Toughness – Part 4.

Transform the anger and self-doubt associated with failure into excitement about new possibilities, as follows:

• Figure out why you lost: Don’t get stuck in grief or blame, but actively explore how you contributed to what went wrong, evaluate whether you sized up the situation correctly and reacted appropriately. Also consider what you would do differently if given the chance.
• Identify new paths: Objectively weight the potential for turning your loss into a win. Reframing losses as opportunities involves hard thinking about who you are and what you want. Speak to a career coach, take courses, reach out to friends and business associates etc. Pausing to identify the new path can allow you to find new meaning in your setback.
• Seize the right opportunity: Identify the possible next steps and then pick one. This can be little frighting, esp. if you are venturing into unknown territory. Remember that you have not left your skills and experience behind your last job and you will bring with you the lesson learned from the setback. 

If you are not able to dig into your current work with renewed gusto, you might decide to put more discretionary effort into family life, volunteering or hobbies, recognizing that having a rich personal life can compensate for not being number one on your team or in the organization.

Realizing what you are made of

We are born with a renewable capacity of resilience – a build-in power to heal, regenerate and grow beyond our known limits. Many of us underestimate our ability to withstand crisis.

You don’t have to lie or somehow justify what happened. You just have to decide that you can live with it. After a traumatic event, it’s fruitless to wish you could change the past, and it’s overwhelming to obsess about the future. “Why me?” is a natural question but one that can’t be answered.

A crisis challenges your sense of identity. If you are fired, you question your professional abilities. If your loved one dies, you lose a defining relationship. A physical crisis, rob you of basic elements of independence. So in this situation, put your energy in the present and build your new life by reclaiming your dignity and identity.