Here are my takeaways from Brian Tracy book Kiss that frog (Part 3). It’s amazing book with full of wise advices:
Becoming attached to an outcome of a situation, is an expectation and many negative emotions arise from the unmet frustrations. We set expectations to have a sense of control and to be able to plan the future. But usually the expectations give us grief, as mostly they turn out to be unexpected. To avoid the grief, be clear of what you want, but be flexible about the process of achieving it.
This life is different shades of grey and is full of frustrations, as it is not black and white. So it is important to learn how to tolerate the frustrations. Do not over protect the kids and let them handle frustration for their learning sake.
When people feel that life is not fair (because of their unrealistic expectations), it leads them to the negative emotion of envy and resentment. These two emotions seem to be aimed at others, but actually arise from the deep feelings of inadequacy and inferiority on the part of the person experiencing the emotion.
When you set up a force field of negative energy by being envious or resentful for others, it drives away and repels success and happiness from your own life. So by their negative thinking about others, they actually sabotage themselves.
Eliminate negative emotions for others by wanting for others what you want for yourself. If someone is doing better than you, think about how you can achieve the same level of accomplishment. It will set up a force field of positive energy, that attracts ideas, people and resources in your life, to achieve the same success you admire in others.
Law of forgiveness: You are mentally healthy to the degree to which you can freely forgive, forget and let go of any negative experience.
Separate the wheat from the chaff and learn the valuable lesson from the negative experience, forgive and move on.
Practice reframing your thoughts and forgiving and slowly it will become a habit.
Make sure to forgive your parents, your intimate relationships, everyone else who hurt you and yourself. You will set yourself free by forgiving.
Remember that the person you are today is wiser and more experienced than the person who did or said those things in the past, which you are finding hard to forgive. The person you are today would never do what the person you were in the past did at that time. You can’t continue punishing the person you are today, by regretting what the other person did a long time ago.
When apologising to any one, resist the temptation of telling your side of story or justifying your past behaviour or defeat yourself. Instead just accept the responsibility and say “I am sorry” and leave it at that.
Identify the negative people, situations and memories in your life, that keep you stuck and get rid of them.
Realize and accept that you have enormous potential to live an extraordinary life. Build your self esteem with positive affirmations.
Do not forget that you are responsible for all the impacts of negative emotions, so do not blame any one and accept complete responsibility.
Decide exactly what you want in life which is very important for you and then get busy working on it, without spending any time to think about the negative people that can hold you back.
There is something good always hidden in every problem, do not miss it.
