This is part 2 of the key takeaways from Tal Ben-Shahar’s book, Choose the life you want.

We are presented with many choices on a daily basis. It’s important to make the conscious effort to choose to choose, our choices dictate the happiness in our lives. Here are some of the choices we face:

11- Allow others to upset you or appreciate and learn from those around you:

Recommendation; Learn to appreciate things about the person that vexes you to develop compassion. It will help to build better relationships with others and with ourselves.

12- Impress and conceal or Express and reveal:

Recommendation: By choosing not to express yourself and hide behind the façade to impress someone is a form of self rejection that leads to unhappiness and discontent and it is also the indicator of low self esteem. Courage is needed to express yourself and let go of the mask of perfection, which is hard but better than apologising for who you are by not expressing yourself.

13- Focus on defeating the other or seek the win-win:

Recommendation; Instead of spending great deal of energy in destroying others, spend the energy in creating maximum value. The pleasure of winning when the other side loses is short lived; the joy of a win-win outcome lasts a great deal longer and is a positive experience.

14- Rush through life or savour life:

Recommendation; Slow down and take your time to enjoy moments of life, and understand that we are blessed with the ability to see, feel and taste and not everyone has it.

15- Eat mindlessly or treat your body with respect:

Recommendation: To lead a longer, healthier and better life, we have to be more mindful about the quantity and quality of food we ingest. It’s giving respect to your body when we enjoy our food but in moderation, so that we can continue to enjoy it for many years to come. Stop eating when you are 80% full.

16- Overlook chance opportunities or create your own luck:

Recommendation: Create your luck by noticing and capitalising on the chance encounters, by doing things differently and by noticing how lucky you already are.

17- Engage in negative self-talk or remind yourself of true self:

Recommendation: Choose to reject the oppressive messages you or others have been telling you and live the life that is true to your real self. Take back the control over the messages you listen and live by as they impact how you feel and behave.

18- Overlook the good in others or commend and compliment:

Recommendation: When you compliment anyone you empower them and your relationship with them, which makes the life better for you and for those around you.

19- Go through life as a fault-finder or be a benefit-finder:

Recommendation: Choose to be a benefit-finder as it helps us perceive and experience the world in a different and often better way. There are significant impacts to mental and physical health due to the choice we decide to make.

20- Rush to give advice or listen with empathy and openness:

Recommendation: It’s the quality of a great leader to be able to listen, before providing any help.