This is part 1 my takeaways from Tal Ben-Shahar’s book, Choose the life you want.

Research in psychology tells us that about 40 percent of our happiness is determined by the choices we make. What we choose to do and how we choose to think directly impact the way we feel. Sometimes making a choice is hard and paralyzes us in our efforts to make the right choice.

Every moment of our lives, we face many choices whose cumulative effect is as huge as an important decision. When we consciously choose to make choices like how we show up, if we give warm look to our partner or give a sour look, whether we appreciate our health, our friends, and the food provided by God to us or take them all for granted, whether we choose to choose or remain oblivious to the choices that are there for the making, These choices may feel small but they are the bricks that make up the road we create for ourselves. We have more choices than we realize, and it’s up to us to choose.

It’s in our hands to create the kind of reality we create for ourselves. This book presents 101 choices that we make on a daily basis and that make a huge difference in the quality of our lives.

1- Just live your life or choose to choose:

Recommendation: Don’t turn your back on your most sacred privilege by not making a choice. To make the most of your life, choose to choose and commit yourself to the idea that there are far more possibilities than we normally see.

2 – Overlook life’s treasures or be mindful of the wonder:

Recommendation: Being mindful of the things around you is a choice you make to see the world around you. We are privileged to be able to see, feel, and smell. Use these senses and be mindful of your surroundings.

3- React in anger or take a step back:

Recommendation: Don’t be a slave of your emotions and react; instead, take a step back and exercise restraint. Be aware of your state of anger, acknowledge it, and choose not to react.

4- Obsessively replay a scenario or think and act purposefully:

Recommendation: Rumination makes things worse by replaying the scenario again and again in our minds, so instead think purposefully and engage in something that could make you feel better and do better. Writing down thoughts helps too.

5- Neglect your posture or carry yourself with confidence and pride:

Recommendation: The way we hold our body not only sends a message to others but to ourselves too, so pay attention to your posture. Slumped shoulders and head down show a lack of confidence and energy.

6- Resign yourself to the status quo or make a difference:

Recommendation: You can make a world of difference if you choose to put your mind and heart to the cause and take action.

7- Procrastinate or just do it:

Recommendation: Don’t wait for the right moment; just start what you need to do. The action mostly reinforced itself. Say 1-2-3-4-5 and just start without thinking.

8- Hold a grudge or forgive:

Recommendation: Do not punish yourself and others for every deviation from the perfect path, where we know no one is perfect. By forgiving, you can let go of unnecessary weight that you are carrying on your back and make your journey through life lighter, calmer, and happier.

9- Treat the work you do as a job or experience your work as a calling:

Recommendation: What you choose to focus on affects our experience of the work. If you consider your job something that you have to do but do not want to do, it will be a burden for you. On the other hand, if you find purpose in your job, like something that helps you provide for your family and enables you to have fun in the off hours, by changing your perspective, you will feel more happy at work. The cleaning lady at the hospital has the choice to either think of her job as cleaning the wards or helping patients recover faster by keeping the area clean. Your happiness is in the way you think.

10- Avoid learning from hardship or actively learn the lessons of hardship:

Recommendation: Actively seek to identify and understand the lessons every hardship contains. Use hardships as a tool for development and growth instead of complaining about them or trying to avoid them. Things do not necessarily happen for the best but you can choose to make the best of the things that happen.