Marilee Adams, in her book Change your Account questions, change your life, talk about the choice map. Like other maps, it does not help us locate where we are but it help with locating where we are coming from and where we might be going. The choice map help us to be better observers of ourselves and others in most conscious way, of the two basic paths we take in life.

• The learners mindset path – where we choose what we want to do proactively
• The judger mindset path – where we react to the situation

In this life every moment we are making choices. Whether we recognize it or not we are making the choice to go along the learner path or the judger path. We shift back and forth between learners and judges mindset, barely being aware (most of the time) that we have any control or choice. When we find ourselves in judger path, we can switch to learner path, by asking a switching question e.g. How else can I think about him? What am I missing or avoiding? Do I have everything I need to make a responsible judgment?

Choice begins when we are mindful enough to observe our own thoughts and feelings and the language we use to express them. Develop the habit of cross checking yourself to observe, what thoughts and moods are shaping your choices. It will give you power to course correct instead of being controlled by events around you or your emotions. We enter the self coaching territory when we realize the difference between learner and judger pathway and we we able to observe our thoughts and feelings.

When we change our questions we change our thinking and when we change our thinking we change our results.